This is the headline in a news.com.au article I read today, which I've posted below. It's quite an opinionated article for a news site in particular, which does touch on that the new book in question, "Stand by your Manhood", by Peter Lloyd, does in fact make some genuine points.
This is one of the very things at the core of what it means to be Gallantoro. We want to revive what it once meant to be a man, re-installing the virtues of Courage, Justice, Respect, to name but a few. Another major core of our code is the respect of women, essentially Chivalry. I am noticing it is becoming harder in this day and age with a strong presence of feminism even if it's only under the surface. Opening a door for a lady was once a genuine nice gesture a man could perform, but now when I do do it, about half the time I get the impression the lady is either slightly insulted, or she thinks I'm just a creep trying to get a look at her rear end on her way through.
It seems the only people who appreciate such acts are older, perhaps elderly women who grew up with men behaving like men, not the watered down metrosexual weak men we have roaming the streets in their skinny jeans today.
Enough from me, have a read, see what you think.
Article via news.com.au
GOOD news you guys, we did it! Feminists have broken men. Terrific job ladies! I’ll alert Germaine while you lot head back to the lady cave for some delicate sandwiches, a glass of savvy blanc and some deep fried man junk.
I was informed about the ultimate victory from columnist, male activist and author of the book “Stand by your manhood”, Peter Lloyd. Some of the chapters have been kicking around online this week causing quite a stir. In “Stand by your manhood”, an epic 300 page bro-bible, Peter says that the triumph of feminism has turned men into 2nd class citizens. He says:
That men don’t know how to be men anymore.
That they’re lost and directionless.
That manhood is in tatters.
That there has never been a worse time to be in possession of a penis.
So in summary, if you’re a bloke — sucks to be you.
Oh don’t worry, there was something for the ladies too!
Apparently we’re turning men against marriage by always filing for divorce and taking their money and we all want to marry footballers and deliberately get up the duff. OK so I’m paraphrasing a tad, but I’m sure you get the gist.
To be fair Peter doesn’t seem to hate women, he is just super dooper concerned about how he (a privileged, white, middle class male) and other men are now being beaten down because the pendulum of power has swung too far to the side with boobs.
There is even an interesting section where he called the gender pay gap issue, a myth.
“Let’s start by ditching a few of those everyday myths about being a bloke in the 21st century. First up, the wage gap. For years men have been guilt-tripped over a supposed discrepancy in pay that apparently sees women lose thousands of pounds every year compared with their male colleagues.”
Someone had better break it to the Workplace Gender Equality Society that they’re all out of a job. Can you even?! Of course Peter Lloyd found some experts to back him up. But then I could probably find a study that suggests tomatoes cause cancer, so I’m going to go ahead and side with the thousands of studies, done over many years that have found women are still earning less than their male counterparts due to the fact that they are, you know, women.
Look, I was pretty fired up … But … Well … Probably not as angry as I should’ve been. My heart just wasn’t in it. I was a dragon without her fire.
Instead of continuing on with the devastating take down I had planned for each chapter of his work, I found myself dwelling on one of his points.
When he mentioned that some men felt lost, a tiny part of me broke off, and started scratching at my insides like an impatient alien baby (Obviously I am Ellen Ripley aka Sigorney Weaver in this scenario.) You see, it’s a thing that I’ve secretly wondered. It’s all well and good for me, a woman, to shout this book down as a pile of misogynistic crapola, but what if its intended audience are secretly fist pumping as they read it on the dunny each morning?
Have men become the unfashionable, undefinable and undesirable gender? (Stay with me, I’m having a Carrie Bradshaw, sitting at her window, tapping away at her MacBook moment.)
Are they wandering around holding a power drill in one hand and their feelings in the other, confused as to how and when to use either of them?
The reaction to this book and the totally unscientific poll I conducted with the 5 straight men that I know say yes, some of them are. Men are apparently in the midst of an identity crisis but they’re too afraid to admit it. Or not sure how to admit it, or to who?
So I did some research (read: Googled male identity crisis) and found another author Ray Williams who wrote for Psychology Today: “In a postmodern world lacking clear-cut borders and distinctions, it has been difficult to know what it means to be a man and even harder to feel good about being one. The many boundaries of a gendered world built around the opposition of work and family — production versus reproduction, competition versus cooperation, hard vs. soft – have been blurred, and men are groping in the dark for their identity.”
Have we all been so caught up, and distracted by the totally valid and required fight for women’s rights that we have ignored the resulting confusion of some men about their role in all of this?
In all honesty part of me thinks: so bloody what? Cop it. Many generations of women have suffered because they were considered the less important sex. See how you like it for a time. There are still HUGE gaps when it comes to sexism in the media, employment opportunities and equal pay.
However the other part of me has men I care about – my Dad, my Husband, my nephews and my boy pals. So how can I ignore that some men are not sure what is expected of them in a post feminism world?
I spoke at length with the bloke closest to me about this issue, my husband Scotty.
Em: “Scotty, are you confused about how to be a man?”
Scotty: “What? Nope, I think I’ve got that one covered.”
Em: “No this isn’t a penis thing, this guy has written a book and he says dudes don’t get what being a dude actually means in the modern world. That the changing expectations of gender roles has them at sixes and sevens. That feminists have turned them into shells of their former selves.”
Scotty: (Slowly exhales) “Oh. Right. Well I’m OK. I’m not confused, but I do think some blokes could probably feel that way but not actually realise it. If you asked a man what his role was in the 20s he would have a simple answer. He worked and supported his family financially. Now, that’s not enough.”
For me, one of the main problems with this book, and perhaps the more extreme factions of feminism is the assumption that we need to argue over who is the most oppressed gender (women, obviously women. OK sorry, couldn’t help it, ignore me). Surely it would be more productive to look at what’s in the best interests of everyone? Yep I’m a feminist: I believe in equality of the sexes. It is my naive and simple belief that we should work together, not against each other. I also reckon we probably need to stop perpetuating the old school roles for BOTH men and women when it comes to television, print media, music videos, education, politics, toys, movies, almost everything in life!
“Stand by your Manhood” is a men’s rights book on steroids. It gets it very wrong on so many levels. Peter Lloyd makes alarmist, sweeping generalisations and manages to find experts to back them up. Admittedly he is clever and passionate; he also sued his gym last year for their “sexist women’s hours” referring to the one hour a day they only let ladies train in the gym. In his complaint he actually wrote:
“Forcing men – whether 70 year-old pensioners or 13 year-old boys who attend with their mothers – to leave a room because of their gender, rather than their behaviour, is degrading. It’s also eerily reminiscent of when African Americans were separated from their caucasian peers in 1940s America.”
Oh BOY. No it’s not Peter, not being able to do your weekly Zumba class is not, on any level, comparable to the pre-civil rights treatment of African Americans.
Ridiculous statements aside, this unashamed, staunch left wing feminist admits that “Stand by your manhood” did open her eyes to men not being exactly sure how to do the men-ing.
Ask your man person (husband, boyfriend, partner, father, brother, friend) the next time you see him, let me know what he says.